cry a little, spice it up

this may sound like a 'duh' statement, but i firmly believe my mood affects my baking or cooking.
normally, this would not mean as much - but as i have been cooking in foreign kitchens this week or just assembling on the side of a crowded table - it's very obvious to me that the food is affected by amount of sleep and definite emotion i happen to be harboring during said preparation.
it is not, however, in the way you would expect.
naturally, if i'm angry or pissy, you would think that everything would be a little sloppier, a little rough.
instead, everything is closer to being perfect.

when i made those grilled cheese sandwiches, my head hurt, a lot. i was rushing around in order to make sure that things were still hot when i took them to the set.
i burned myself with the oily pot lid, cut myself by reaching into a sink that was definitely not left by me.
(note to anyone who SHARES a kitchen with ANYONE - never EVER leave a knife in a dirty sink, or even in a basin of drying dishes. it will usually result in a painful reach.)
anyway.
those sandwiches were, while a bit dark, melted perfectly. browned by not charred, with a nice browning taste - not oily or too greasy. it is 'grilled' cheese, after all, so you have to expect a little bit of grease.
the tomato soup was spicy, but not burned. it didn't splash everywhere or have weird chunks floating in it because i didn't take the time to chop the tomatoes fine or have the soups meld together.
it came together. all of it.

wednesday night, as i was making delectable pretzel roll sandwiches, i was not in a rush. i felt decent - it was gorgeous outside and i didn't really have to be anywhere until 2:30. i guess it was the comfort - the NON deadline, i suppose - and things got sloppy. i forgot to count lettuce leaves so we were short on lettuce. the cookies were okay - but not the softness i usually bake my dough to. the pretzels were lopsided... still good but weird to look at.
this was from a happy girl? weird.

cakes are almost impossible to track. wedding cakes i am a bloody wreck - especially when i think they will be simple cakes.
for instance.
this cake - hexagonal, with 'PLEATS' on the second layer.
i was also doing an entire wedding as well as a double wedding cake for the next day, so i planned on spending the necessary time but no more on this cake.
in the end.. i was horrified. especially when i took it to the venue and the florist had neglected to leave the promised flowers for the top.
the top tier, which had a huge blerb in the middle because i was planning on plopping a beautiful hydrangea on it.
instead, i had to whip out my trusty offset that i carry with me everywhere and hope to the cake gods that the cake would smooth.
the result, after the freakout and a random rose?

not too bad.

i think the ultimate scary was this grass cake. as i was carrying it out to the car, the entire top tier BOUNCED off center. that's right.
bounced.
introduce the worst two hours of my life, making grass out of fondant that should have dried all night and attempting to fix buttercream that was so beautiful until my feet hit the concrete floor. also introduce the night i almost gave up baking.


it was based upon a magazine article, and we mirrored it basically down to the petrified wood base. the groom heat lasered their names and anniversary in the edge - it was incredible. i was very happy by the end, but let me tell you - it was terrifying.

to be honest, i'm not sure if there is one cake i was totally good with from the beginning. in fact, i'm usually pretty pessimistic when i begin a cake - yet somehow i get this breath of happy halfway through and im willing to carry on and believe that something good will come out of it.
it sounds lame, but it's just the way i work.

i hold my breath daily to make sure i haven't made it onto cakewrecks. i love that site so much, and i might actually be okay if i do in fact make it on there one day just to be on it. however, it would be one end of the spectrum or the other... either my item was horrific enough to be reported for ultimate damage control, or i made it into the sunday sweets post... one thing i aspire to, actually.

we shall see. *gulp*

PS. today i'm making sauteed mushroom pockets, as well as garlicky sloppy joe pockets. they smell fabulous. thanks again to my girl sandra. plus a few tfc adjustments, as per usual.


(all of these pictures aren't copyrighted, but they are MINE. as in, cakes I have done.... just for the record.)

"My bakery opens next month and I am about as far away from being ready as I can get" Pie

that would be graham cracker crust, and a lot of peaches, with raw sugar.

don't even bother baking it - we don't have time.

i love culinary movies. i love things that involve food - i love books and articles and even movies that somehow tie in the glory of the cooking world. 

No, i haven't seen No Reservations, but it looks cute. Mostly because of the fact that they're in a kitchen - Aaron Eckhart is one of my growing favorites, though. 

Moment of the day? The past two ish hours.

watching 

^^^^^THIS.

and may i just say, i have never been so happy to have heard spot on reviews. i heard nary a negative thing about it, and they came through.

it was smart.

it was sad.

by the way, me crying does not automatically constitute a movie as sad - i get choked up if a puppy is left alone.

but the entire movie - the entire thing, just exuded such a passion, such an amazing message of hope within a stupid situation. 

more than anything, i wish there was a cookbook - because I would love to try some of the recipes.

i love the happiness that comes from coming up with recipes - even the shots of the empty shells made me smile, and i know the feelings well. it made me just really - excited.

Adrienne Shelly did a fabulous job, and I'm sad we won't be able to experience more of her genius in years to come. Cheers to you, love. May you rest in a strawberry pie filled heaven. 

also exciting - the last three minutes of the academy awards, when i saw a sneak peek at Julie&Julia... a delicious book i just read by julie powell.

she sets out to make her way through all 524 recipes in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking - it was great.

i never read nonfiction, but it of course drew me, if nothing else, from the miniegg whisk on the cover, and the fact that it was a bargain book from barnes and noble and i had a gift certificate burning a hole in my proverbial pocket.

however, those things aside, things DO happen for a reason. 

i was meant to read that book - it's subtitled something along the lines of how she risked her job, her husband, and her life's sanity to do this entire project in her tiny long island city apartment.

i really really enjoyed it- powell is a light but thorough writer with a flair for the funny - found myself laughing out loud a lot. plus, chris messina will make a fabulous eric. 

it made me feel good to know that MtAoFC doesn't just scare me. things of that nature - that... complicated... nature... i don't know.

i'm trained in classic French patisserie, but i would be just as happy creating the craziest cookies for the rest of my life.

or combinations of flavors that people aren't willing to try but then have to come to only me to find.

the dream will grow. 

also pretty much addicted to Good Grief, by Lolly Winston.

in the wake of losing my final pet, i picked it up thinking what better than to wallow in a sad, hopeless romantic novel.

instead i found a woman who gets over her grief by opening a bakery.

again, meant to happen.

amazing, actually - another book i sobbed through, but with happy hopeful tears, and the renewed energy to go make a Swiss meringue. 

and not to forget the mindy klasky "miniseries" of jane and her witchy ways... 

Sorcery and the Single Girl, Girl's Guide to Witchcraft, and Magic and the Modern Girl. 

all slightly cheesy titles, but jane's best friend owns.. you guessed it! a bakery.

a really cute bakery with a million great ideas and fun things that i would bet klasky came up with in perhaps an intention of writing a book about a baker.

alas - the end product has me waiting for melissa's appearances in every jane breakdown. mojitos and bunny bites, yes please. 

i always wonder if my creativity could ever really carry out the stories of these people. it's funny, i have yet to read or watch a movie (unless you count Moonstruck) where there is a male baker whose work i appreciate. wait, i take it back. Marilyn Hotchkiss Ballroom Dance and Charm School... incredible. John Goodman is a creepdawg extraordinaire, but Marisa Tomei has a great introduction to a butcher block. and in an entrancing, only-appreciated-fully-by-any-weary-baker sort of way.

i know that i have ideas brewing inside me. i know i have these things that could take off and make millions. but i also have the ultimate feeling that i have to breathe and start small. small, as in plans, not as in doing 3" cookies instead of plate sized. although my plate cookies are a best seller. i'm just not egocentric enough to push my product to the ends of the earth until i can stand behind it fully. i am proud of the things i can do, but i still want to be able to really love everything i can produce, and feel the resolution in trusting someone else to churn it out when i finally decide to sit down for a minute. if you haven't seen posessive, try finding a cake decorator that will not stand over your shoulder the first eighty times you do a shell border on one of their orders. 

i seem to be inexplicably drawn to these novels, and they each teach me more things. well, waitress was on my netflix queue, but even for more reasons than a pie being featured in the promo shots.

i love seeing baking and culinary fascination take over. 

i love having people ask me a million questions about baking 

(especially if it's something OTHER than - 'oh, do you watch Ace of Cakes? that show is awesome!)

because i love that i have chosen a path that means something to EVERYONE.

everyone loves to eat. if they don't, they're probably lying to themselves. 

everyone does enjoy sweet. if they don't, i'm sad for them. dessert has been some of the most pivotal moments in my life.

plus, you celebrate life with dessert. 

who ever heard of 1st birthday casserole?

75th wedding anniversary oil change?

negative.

not that these careers are not important, for they very well are.

but i am excited that i have chosen a path that usually ends in smiles.

relaxed, delighted, heavy lidded with satisfaction smiles.

which leads me to the title of this blog. the inspiration.

stranger than fiction. 

will ferrell is an irs auditor, who has never lived the way life should be.

maggie gyllenhaal is a kick ass baker.

cue indie music, some great lines, and mostly - another movie about baking that is smart and just so calmly worthy of my appreciation for the nod to people who do what they love to do, how they want to do it. that's my dream - to have my own aprons and have my employees wear what i want them to - but they like it to.

to accept a boxful of flours from someone who genuinely cares and understands that this is what my life is truly about. finding the fun in the science, finding the good eats among the pages about aspic and ribbons.

it's finding passion where passion lives. 

this is only the beginning, that i know.

but i must say - it's awfully fun so far.

and so it begins

ah, at last. the true geek in me has shone through, and may the patisserie-infused love of all rage on. it may take a moment to get the hang of this, and to begin publishing things the way i want to - but i plan on having a lot of fun here. cheers to all.