cry a little, spice it up

this may sound like a 'duh' statement, but i firmly believe my mood affects my baking or cooking.
normally, this would not mean as much - but as i have been cooking in foreign kitchens this week or just assembling on the side of a crowded table - it's very obvious to me that the food is affected by amount of sleep and definite emotion i happen to be harboring during said preparation.
it is not, however, in the way you would expect.
naturally, if i'm angry or pissy, you would think that everything would be a little sloppier, a little rough.
instead, everything is closer to being perfect.

when i made those grilled cheese sandwiches, my head hurt, a lot. i was rushing around in order to make sure that things were still hot when i took them to the set.
i burned myself with the oily pot lid, cut myself by reaching into a sink that was definitely not left by me.
(note to anyone who SHARES a kitchen with ANYONE - never EVER leave a knife in a dirty sink, or even in a basin of drying dishes. it will usually result in a painful reach.)
anyway.
those sandwiches were, while a bit dark, melted perfectly. browned by not charred, with a nice browning taste - not oily or too greasy. it is 'grilled' cheese, after all, so you have to expect a little bit of grease.
the tomato soup was spicy, but not burned. it didn't splash everywhere or have weird chunks floating in it because i didn't take the time to chop the tomatoes fine or have the soups meld together.
it came together. all of it.

wednesday night, as i was making delectable pretzel roll sandwiches, i was not in a rush. i felt decent - it was gorgeous outside and i didn't really have to be anywhere until 2:30. i guess it was the comfort - the NON deadline, i suppose - and things got sloppy. i forgot to count lettuce leaves so we were short on lettuce. the cookies were okay - but not the softness i usually bake my dough to. the pretzels were lopsided... still good but weird to look at.
this was from a happy girl? weird.

cakes are almost impossible to track. wedding cakes i am a bloody wreck - especially when i think they will be simple cakes.
for instance.
this cake - hexagonal, with 'PLEATS' on the second layer.
i was also doing an entire wedding as well as a double wedding cake for the next day, so i planned on spending the necessary time but no more on this cake.
in the end.. i was horrified. especially when i took it to the venue and the florist had neglected to leave the promised flowers for the top.
the top tier, which had a huge blerb in the middle because i was planning on plopping a beautiful hydrangea on it.
instead, i had to whip out my trusty offset that i carry with me everywhere and hope to the cake gods that the cake would smooth.
the result, after the freakout and a random rose?

not too bad.

i think the ultimate scary was this grass cake. as i was carrying it out to the car, the entire top tier BOUNCED off center. that's right.
bounced.
introduce the worst two hours of my life, making grass out of fondant that should have dried all night and attempting to fix buttercream that was so beautiful until my feet hit the concrete floor. also introduce the night i almost gave up baking.


it was based upon a magazine article, and we mirrored it basically down to the petrified wood base. the groom heat lasered their names and anniversary in the edge - it was incredible. i was very happy by the end, but let me tell you - it was terrifying.

to be honest, i'm not sure if there is one cake i was totally good with from the beginning. in fact, i'm usually pretty pessimistic when i begin a cake - yet somehow i get this breath of happy halfway through and im willing to carry on and believe that something good will come out of it.
it sounds lame, but it's just the way i work.

i hold my breath daily to make sure i haven't made it onto cakewrecks. i love that site so much, and i might actually be okay if i do in fact make it on there one day just to be on it. however, it would be one end of the spectrum or the other... either my item was horrific enough to be reported for ultimate damage control, or i made it into the sunday sweets post... one thing i aspire to, actually.

we shall see. *gulp*

PS. today i'm making sauteed mushroom pockets, as well as garlicky sloppy joe pockets. they smell fabulous. thanks again to my girl sandra. plus a few tfc adjustments, as per usual.


(all of these pictures aren't copyrighted, but they are MINE. as in, cakes I have done.... just for the record.)